You know, it’s 5′clock on the East coast. So not only is it five o’clock somewhere, it’s five o’clock somewhere close enough to count.

I’m going to have a very strong cocktail or two.

And yes, we have the Spare’s preschool music program tonight. I’m going to make the King Consort drive. He’s had the benefit of being away all day at work with rational people who don’t throw the entire contents of their bookcase on the floor in a tantrum.

Please consider my drinking before the program my form of child abuse intervention. The Spare is being a colossal foot-long mega turd. His turdiness began first thing this morning and was so bad even his teacher told me he was bad today. A first for him. The massive turdiness has just increased all day, including refusing to take a nap even though I laid down with him for 45 minutes to try to get him to stay still enough to fall asleep. The turd.

The piss ants Princes have been banished to the playroom and commanded not to come out until I say so. It’s been raining here so I can’t banish them elsewhere. Plus the Spare does have that music program and I really don’t want to give him another bath. It would interfere with pouring my cocktails too.

I was going to do a special dessert for him for his big musical debut but I’m so ticked at his turdiness right now that the only thing I want to make would be a turd-cake. They do exist. You make them with chocolate icing on a round cake to look like a huge pile of shit. Very fitting. I have all of the Wilton tools and bags to make it too. But it would interfere with my cocktails so I won’t.

Whiskey sours…here I come!

This entry was posted on Wednesday, May 16th, 2007 at 2:54 pm and is filed under And This Is Why I Drink, Evidence File for The Betty. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.