Someone takes a mom, who is two full weeks into the hell known as summer break (one week in which she was car-less while the other car was repaired…hell with no escape!) and coming off of the failed nut knocker plan, to the beach.

Oh look, the King Consort wants to take a picture of me playing “ride the wave” with the boys. If only he knew I was getting just a bit of mean-mommy pleasure from throwing them into the waves while they get salt water up their nose and sand in their butt, all the while they think we’re having good, clean fun. Smile pretty for the camera!

Where are the damn waves? Gesh, are we at the ocean or a lake here? Give me some damn waves so I can throw these hell brats help these kids ride a wave!

Son, didn’t you see that nonexistent big wave? That was so not my leg that knocked you down. (snort)

Oh boy, what a big wave you rode little Spare. How’s that salt water and sand taste? What, you have sand in your butt? There’s a shell in there too? Yeah, look at my face…you think I care? Try having hemorrhoids and then I’ll feel bad for you.

Awwww, lookie how we’ve all kissed and made up. Oops, lookie at that, the King is sunburned really bad on the back of his head where his hair is thinning at a phenomenal rate. He really should know he’s sunburned there and exactly why….I better tell him his scalp is burned where all of his hair has turned transparent. I’m so totally over the drunk colossal asshole thing. (snort) Smile pretty for the camera!

This entry was posted on Monday, June 11th, 2007 at 4:21 am and is filed under Immature Shallow Me, Marital Bon Mot, This Mom Gig. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.