Insanity at the Shake-Shake straight ahead
Today I did the most horrible thing to Parker.
I turned off the TV.
Child abuse, I know. Go ahead, turn me in. See if I care. I’ll go to jail where someone else cooks my meals. And clean my clothes. All I have to do is sit in a small room and do *gasp* nothing. You think after having a gazillion people stare at my crotch as I scream my head off and push out a baby, probably along with some poop, that using the toilet in front others will phase me?
Parker’s lament over this horrible transgression went on and on. And on. And on until I was about to scream over his screaming. And I said….
“Parker, you’re about to drive me crazy. I’m thinking about running up and down the street right now yelling, ‘My kids drove me crazy! My kids drove me crazy!’ “
Parker, having inherited my silly gene, found the image of me running down the street shouting such statements quite funny and he immediately stopped his lament and began laughing.
And I burst into song, Patsy Cline style:
Crazy
I’m crazy for being a mommyyyyyyyyy!
I’m crazy,
crazy from wiping all of the poooooooo!
I knew that all of the vodka I wanteeeeeeeed
and the whiskey would never make doooooooo.
Worry!
Why do I let myself worry!
Wondering what in the world do I do!
Yeah, I gotz talented. I whipped that song out in 30 seconds, much to the embarrassment, I’m sure, of my opera soprano voice teacher. My neighbor thinks I may have strangled one of my cats. It was the one that keeps shitting outside the litter box.
However, it was good enough to send Parker into fits of giggles and forget his lamenting ways. And I said, “See how crazy you make your mama. I come up with crazy songs!”
Payton decides he is now going to be a part of the insane conversation and states….
“Mom, I don’t ever drive you crazy.”
Oh no my precious Payton, you have never done anything that would possibly push my sanity over the edge.
Never.
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Too awesome.
See how cool you are.
You make up silly songs to change his mood. What a mamma!
I have a certain place in my heart for made up songs…My mom used to do the same thing.
Making up songs is totally hot. You rock my world little country girl.
Baahaaa!
You’re good! Sometimes making yourself look an ass is the only way to get them to stop being one.
oops,should have read
“look like an ass ….”
Bwahaha! – Brilliant! I will have to remember that the next time Alexander is throwing a fit.
I’m going to have to try this. It beats actually screaming and running down the street, right. Not that I would ever have done that. Ahem.
Another silly mom! Yes. When my boys were younger they loved silliness. It could change a bad mood or make a good mood better. We used to forts out of the couch cushions, the table, blankets and whatever else we decided to use. It was fabulous. It was nice to share the fun with my boys.
You sang opera? For heaven’s sake~Why? Just kidding. I love the music but the singing is something I’m below to far to appreciate.
Haha! You’re awesome. And Payton’s punchline at the end there? Too funny!
I’m glad Parker can appreciate your silliness!!!
I think you have a future in songwriting!
We are a family of silly singers here.
Your post brings to mind the book Playful Parenting. Sometimes we need to be silly to get through the day and all the drama that goes along with kids.
Love those impromptu lyrics — quite impressive!
I thought I was the only one who wanted to run up and down the street screaming! Only rather than being as creative as you and your lyrics skillz, I baked a pie. And shut up my screaming son with pie.
You go girl!
Actually I found that when I told Mr. C to stop playing video games, and come eat… instead of dreading the tantrum to follow, I went and said WOW You are doing good, grabbed his hand and helped him upstairs. Usually he would throw the ontroller and run and scream like a baby.
You should definately finish out the words to that song. That was great!
janicenw: Oh no, I don’t sing opera! Bwahahaha. As if I had that much talent.
I barely just sing. No, my voice coach was an opera singer in her younger days and had retired.
You and my hubby would get along well. He too has that quick ability to make up funny song related to the situation at the time. Sometimes they even rhyme.
Yep, that and the farting. You too would get along really well.
I’ve learned not to ask questions during those meltdowns. Like “you’re driving Mommy crazy! Do you want to SEE me pull all of my hair out?!”
To which the response was instant quiet, and then … “Sure!”
I love the silly gene! I think it just might be the single reason I’ve not gone insane since becoming a mom!
I am soooo thrilled to know I’m not the only one who has jail fantasies… Wouldn’t it be nice to just sit? And not have to do anything?
Just like my husband NEVER annoys me. Perfect angel gentleman all the time. Boy could I sing about that.
Oooh! I love your song! Can you write me one for when your 2 year old screams for 2 hrs in bed? Until 1:30 am? And keeps everyone in the cabin (if not the valley) awake?
That was so funny! Thanks!
i ALWAYS sing patsy’s crazy outloud…..so funny. i guess that is what we moms feel daily huh
I want to hear moosh’s husband song…
I thought I was the only one who sang sarcastic little ditties to their children. I’m still waiting for the day when she starts singing back -then I’m going to have to come up with a new tactic. Sarah’s pie sounds like a good possibility.