It is Wednesday, right?  Ugh, I’m still recovering from the overindulgence of Mardi Gras and thank god fake Lent is here because now I’m on a strict healthy diet of raw broccoli and carrot sticks and celery and, oh my god, non-processed foods never tasted so damn good!  I’m coming out of a carb-induced brain fog and yes, I think it is Wednesday, so I’m stealing the Commentless Wednesday idea of my blogging idol, Marinka from Motherhood in NYC. Because she can’t stop me.

My close friend, Jennifer from Playgroups are No Place for Children, wrote a recent post about some struggles she is having with her 3-year-old son starting preschool.

Oh boy.  Three. What a un-fucking-believably hard age.

I remember that stage, the longest and most aging years of my life to date, when Payton was 3-5 and Parker was 1-3. I swear those two years felt like 20, only I wasn’t blessed like Rip Van Winkle and slept through it all.  I had to live that shit, day in and day out.

I frequently wondered who in the hell thought it was be a good idea to have children just two years apart.  Whoever convinced me of it (my sister) was obviously criminally insane because I was in THE WORST KIND OF HELL I’D EVER EXPERIENCED!

I love my children beyond all existence and wouldn’t trade them for anything. Of course. OF COURSE I WOULDN’T.  But let me tell you, I wouldn’t have two kids two years apart again.  Payton was an extremely difficult toddler, and I didn’t even get through his toddler years before the next kid started on them.   Granted, Parker was a much easier toddler, but in comparison to Payton, raising Hell Boy would have been easier.

But in our society nowadays, I dunno, it seems the idea that toddlerhood may sometimes be harder for some kids than others; that some kids are vastly more stubborn, tenacious, and strong-willed, is falling by the wayside.

Suddenly, the toddler years, or childhood for that matter, are no longer allowed variance.  If your child is not a model, typical, malleable 3-year-old who sits contentedly and quietly during K-3 circle time, then by god, that must be a sign of an array of development disorders.

If your toddler has a difficult time transitioning to preschool, there must be a problem. In this modern day of two-income families, are we forgetting stay-at-home children may adjust differently and not quite so smoothly?

If your child doesn’t like crowds or loud places, or, god-forbid, the HOLY COMMUNION OF CIRCLE TIME, there must be a problem. I don’t like crowd noises or the idea of sitting in close proximity to strangers, knee-to-knee, elbow-to-elbow, until I’ve been around them for a few months and feel more comfortable with them. I’m an adult, so that’s ok, but children are somehow given less respect as individuals.

If your child is more stubborn than you and can outlast you in a battle of wills, there must be a problem.  It can’t be he/she has simply learned how to outsmart adults at such a young age.  (because we are the grown-ups and how dare they!)

Dare to mention any sensory issues on top of these other “symptoms”, well, just sit back and watch the rabid pack go wild with the scent of fresh meat.

What the fuck? Have we totally lost our perspective?

There are times, even now, when I’m afraid to tell the transparent truth of what it was (and still is) like raising an out-of-the-box child.  I’m afraid I’ll come face-to-face with that rabid pack of naysayers who tell me I’m in denial, that I can’t be objective, and blah, blah, blah.  (It’s hard to remember what else the rabid naysayers actually say when you’re distracted by all the foam in their mouths.)

Their mind has apparently been infected with the disease of two-way thinking — it’s either this way or that.  It’s either normal or abnormal. There is no in between, there are no other paths.

Ok, so fine. Parents aren’t always objective. I’ll give the rabid pack that, though I think it’s pretty damn objective when a parent can admit their child can be a raging asshole at times.   I admit while I can totally see how my kids act like assholes sometimes, perhaps I myself am not always objective when it comes to judging Payton’s behavior.

But exactly who is objective?

A doctor?  An outside SLP?  An OT? A psychologist? A neurologist?

Do you honestly believe they are objective?  I hate to tell you, but they are just as far from objectivity as the informed parent.

Do you think they paid good money for their educational training, that they spent years of hard work so they can be objective about their profession and question the belief system they are taught? For cripes sake, physicians can’t even get breastfeeding information straight because they receive their “education” from formula companies.

Do you think they are not influenced by the research they read, their contemporaries, by the APA, by the media? By the very fact they are in the business of tending sick people.  Come on, they are kinda trained to look for something wrong.

Is this what we are calling “objective”?

Quite frankly, objectivity doesn’t exist, just like control over your children doesn’t exist either.  It’s all an illusion, we’re making this shit up as we go.

When did three-year-olds become required to act like six-year olds?

Do I dare admit my eight-year-old still acts like a six-year-old?

Oops, I just did.

Thank god I’ve had a rabies vaccine.

disclaimer: the opinions in this blog post are in no way associated with anyone whose blog is not Queen of Shake Shake

This entry was posted on Wednesday, February 25th, 2009 at 9:14 am and is filed under Alabamer public edjumacation done taught me to read, Mommy Moments No One Talks About. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Responses are currently closed, but you can trackback from your own site.