I don’t know what is wrong with me (yes I do) but something has gone completely haywire. I guess when you’re always walking around with one screw loose, it’s just a matter of time.
I recorded this vlog back in January, but chickened out of posting it. But in my haywire state, I had an epiphany, if epiphany means revelations that come to you when you’ve been drinking. Like there’s any other. Anyway, I thought that a vlog about how I fucked up a vlog would be so funny at 150% speed! And now I’m like committed to myself to not be a chicken shit and post the mother fucker, even if it blows up my blog.
God help me if it’s a flop and an embarrassment to my name because I’m suffering from an enormous case of writer’s block and it will be LIKE HELL trying to come up with enough posts to put up and bury this vlog off the first page. I’ll have to post random pictures of cows, I guess. But at least I can look at myself and know I took a chance today, even if I do live to regret it. And there’s always the alcohol to help me forget.
A vlog about a vlog from Heather Hitchcock on Vimeo. Recorded in front of a live studio audience (of her cats.)
Could you tell in the vlog where I completely LIE THROUGH MY TEETH. I’ll give you two hints – #1) the phone rang and #2) I get sorta hive-ish and itchy around my face and neck when I’m telling a lie.
Entries (RSS)
First of all, your hair is darling. I want waves like that.
Second of all, your blog didn’t blow up (at least not on my computer), but my dog is now twitching. I think it was the sound of your voice.
OMG that was great you sound hysterical ! Like the little people in Charlie and the Chocolate Factory! Or something like that.
Damn! I came here looking for the cows. Someone told me there would be cows. Where are the fuckin cows??-Heather, I’m so deep in the sticks the broadband boys would need a compass and bulldozer to reach me. Can’t do the videe thing. But you probably knew that and this is some twisted revenge on your part. (like telling me I got the part of the hot fireman but then the elevator got fixed)
Now I can either sit here til the cows come home waiting for the video or just go away and fantasize bout what’s there. I’ll take door #2 and boy! you should see yourself in the video now! Wow! How’s that for revenge? ~Rick
ALVINNNNNNN-ETTTTEEEEE
LMAO
Dear heaven, this cracked my shit up! In the time it took to watch this, I laughed and laughed, wondered “How can I get Heather to teach me the ways of awesome and/or run away with me?” and got ragingly jealous about your gorgeous hair. The raging jealousy did not, however, deter me from my goal of trying to get you to teach me the ways of awesome (which I feel should be capitalized as The Ways of Awesome) and/or run away with me.
Still stalking your hair!
This is so freaking funny.
AWESOME!
I bet if you posted that video AND random pics of cows you will be SUPERFAMOUS and get like, a bazillion comments!
Holy tweak!
Well done love, welcome to video, its a whole new world!!!!!
Get it up on YouTube and promote through that too, You Tube is a super traffic generator!
I so needed that! Must go re-apply mascara.
I’ve just come to look around over here for the first time today, and this was pretty much like going into a someone’s basement and expecting a torture dungeon and instead you find a finished rec room and a soda fountain. Well played, Milady!
My son wasn’t a fan, but I enjoyed it. What does he know, he watches Mickey Mouse who doesn’t cuss?
HOLY SHIT that was funny! You should totally do it like that every time!
Hilarious !
No, no – you’re not allowed to post pictures of cows! I need this posted somewhere accessible so I can relive the laugh I just got LOL! That’s the funniest thing I’ve seen in forever LMAO!!!
Love your hair too!
Tweek! Yes, too much coffee lady, pull out the wine bottle and slow down. (oh, yes, the hair is gorgeous)
I’m sorry. I cannot comment coherently because I’m seething with jealousy over your effing hair. I was all prepared to be your minion (’cause I’m super-good at minion’ing, ask Beej), then the hair thing happened. So now I’m all conflicted and whatnot. I’ll tell my husband to blame you for my downward spiral.
Heather on speed is awesome. My kids were fascinated. Q says, “Is that a little girl? Is she real?” Definitely super
my 18 month old is fascinated! thank God he can’t repeat shit yet, hu? I loved that!
This reminds me of one of my favorite youtube characters Fred! http://www.youtube.com/fred Why do I like this? Because I’m still 12 years old.
This. Is. Fucking. Hilarious. If I ever get to hear your real voice it will be strange b/c now the memory that I have of you is with this voice. And it’s awesome!!
Yeah, right, you can only type so fast cause you sped the tape up….or something like that.
And um, so what wasn’t fine at school?
OMG! That was great! Much more entertaining than all those boring vlogs at normal speed.
please do this everyday. the first time you said fuck i squirted a little pee from laughing so hard.
LMFAO!!!! omg!!! this cracks me up everytime you say fuck or shit! HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHA i love this!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
ok, I’m up to 36 seconds. It’s great but i could kill you for this! Rick
Holy Hell. That was HILARIOUS! My 5 yo came running over here as soon as I started it, I was like, “No, baby, this isn’t a cartoon. Mommy can’t let you watch this.” “But Momma, it sounds so funny!” “Yes, buddy, it is, but there MAY be some bad words…”
Fucking hilarious!
It didn’t blow up, woohoo! Just that calls for a celebratory drink!
That made my day!
I am head over heals in love with you now! OMFG. HILARIOUS and wonderful all in one.
Can I go ahead and reveal to everyone that you talk like that in real life?
Y’all – when I met her I nearly died when she spoke.
This is so damn funny!!!!!
Do it again! Do it again!
LOL! Love your hair, though. You should definitely do a vlog again.
You, you you are a genius!! You are the motherfucking genius!!
pure awesomeness.
Omg that was the funniest thing I have ever seen. Awesome job! I want more!
that was sheer genius!
BRILLIANT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I just wet my pants.
You, like, TOTALLY, have, like, a southern twang, at like, super speed!
LMFAO!!!!!
You are a brave biatch. I would never have the balls to do that!
I raise my cup to you!!!
Hail the Queen!!!!
Okay. Laughing here. Too funny. By the way…..did you go to the JellyFish Martini Bar in Perdido Key? You so should have gotten your girl friends and a dd and went….
Just watched it for the 3rd time and am still crying/laughing. Please post more vlogs.
ZOMG Heather!!! I love you!!!
LOL!!
Nathan likes your potty mouth
That was freaking brilliant. dammit. Love you.
There is something quite disturbing about hearing Theodore (chipmunks) cussin’ in a way that’d make a sailor blush, but it was fabulouS!!!!
omigod, i think i want to marry you.
or at least your hair.
Speed is awesome. So is this vlog!
Where did you speed up the video?
Very funny. I don’t know about the speed, you kind of sound like a valley girl. And I soooo didn’t picture you a valley girl. I think you ought to be just as brave a post a regular vlog. It would save all our lazy asses from having to, you know, read.
Missy
OMG, That was so Fucking funny!!! Nearly pissed my pants at my desk!!!
You rock!
Two of three kids and I just watched it and we’re totally cracking up. You sound like a Southern girl cousin of Alvin and the Chipmunks. Definitely need to do more vlogging, Heather. Especially on speed.
Hey! You figured out how to get people to comment!
And I am TOTALLY going to say “Now I get to go have my fun at the grocery store – YAY” in a 78 rpm voice, every time I go get groceries. So thank you for that.