The Road to Housewife Hell is Paved with Good Intentions
Posted by Heather in Evidence File for The Betty, Marital Bon Mot
It’s National House Cleaning Week.
This picture wouldn’t be funny if I had staged it. It’s a 100% organic reflection of how the road to housewife hell is paved with good intentions.
I meant to mop the kitchen, but I always start in the laundry room/butler pantry (which is a fancy way to describe the fact I have a small kitchen and had to install cabinets in my huge ass laundry room for extra storage) and that’s where I keep the liquor.
Honestly, I really meant to mop it. But, you know, there’s more to life on a late Friday afternoon than clean kitchen floors. When you live the high life like me, Friday means exciting things, like the Clone Wars season finale and letting the kids stay up until 9 so that Wally and I have even less alone time.
Also, don’t think it’s a coincidence that this is National House Cleaning Week and Marinka went on vacation. What diabolical cunning.
On a related note, does anyone even know what the saying means? The road to hell is paved with good intention. For years I’ve tried to figure that one out, but haven’t. It drives me crazy. (short drive) What the hell does it mean?!
I also want to know if there is a National Man Junk – Clean Off Your Fucking Chest of Drawers – Week? A National Clean that Nasty Grill Week? A National OMG The Garage is a Goddamn Fire Hazard Week?
Entries (RSS)
To be fair, no one said it’s National “WIVES, clean your house” week. I say the chest of drawers, grill, and garage are included in the house. Get that man to do his part!
One lousy housewife. Right here. Frankly there’s just more to life than clean floors. You’re not actually eating off them, right? Loving the need for National OMG the Grarage is a Goddamn Fire Hazard Week. Or the Yard Needs to be Mowed, EDGED, and the Driveway Sweeped Day. Sadly that would need to be a biweekly event.
All I can say is FUCK national clean house week because it’s tax season so I do the bare minimum to keep our heads over water. Fiancee tries but he just doesn’t do it the same way I do.
As for the road to hell being paved with good intentions:
“I was an honest man and just wanted to change things, but somewhere along the way I got caught up in the power and corruption”
“I only went there to talk but somehow he ended up dead!”
And I think it’s vastly a matter of perspective- Have you read Wicked, or seen the Musical (the two are vastly different but very good but that doesn’t matter for this conversation, we’ll use the musical
)
The wicked witch wasn’t wicked- she was trying to help- but everything backfired on her, she kept hurting people when ACTUALLY saving them, but THEY didn’t see it. She was a good person, who meant well. But in the end, people chose to see her as evil because that is what they were told she was~ thus hell for her.
Screw the road to hell is paved with good intentions! I’m on the highway to hell, with flames and shit on my car and a martini in my hand.
Don’t forget National “get the goddamned dead possum carcass out of the shrubs it’s starting to fucking smell” week!
WTF? National House Cleaning Week?
You’re kidding me, right?
Is that before or after Barefoot and Pregnant Week? How about “Get me my slippers, bitch,” Week?
Whatever happened to holidays that were happy. Or uplifting?
Like, National Get a Sitter and Take Your Wife out to Dinner Day, followed closely by National “I’ll take the kids to school while you sleep in” Week?
marinka said she’s spending the entire week cleaning. I guess that’s her kind of vacation.
As the funny joke goes: cute hunky guy comes up to older woman, says “I’ll do anything you want me to do for 50 bucks.” She turns to him and says, “Clean my house.”
I think it means the same as “No good deed goes unpunished.”
My husband needs an entire OMG The Garage is a Fire Hazard!! year. Seriously. Where once was a car is now an unspeakable act of horror carried out with tools and various sizes of cardboard boxes. He’s lucky I’m still married to him.
I just finished mopping my floors. If I had known it was National House Cleaning Week I would’ve waited until next week to avoid conforming.
so sad that i can tell that’s martini mixer in that swervy cool bottle behind the pledge. probaby mango. but i’m not a drunk. swear.
I think there should be a National “Pour Hot Wax on Your Balls and Rip it Off” Week…men are trolls.
Ketel One and Pledge…a lethal combination. Don’t bust your ass while drunk and moping the floor…I speak from experience.
Maybe it means, try as you might, we’re still all fucked?
“National Clean Off Your Fucking Chest of Drawers Week.” Awesome! I would pay good money for that.
Oh wait, I did. I bought my husband a “charging valet” to keep on top of his dresser . . . and he actually uses it.
Hmm, all women commenting so far, and all seem to have the same attitude. Oh well, we work hard for it.
I notice two bottles of drink for one of cleaner, is that the standard ratio in your household? I just picked up recipes and mix to make Lemon Drop martinis and coffee chocolate martinis (thanks to Sandra Lee – I love how she starts slurring by the third show) so come on by and I’ll show you my fancy drinks skills.
We were forced to take part in clean house week due to parasites.
BTW, you can save on the cleaning fluid, and just mop with moonshine. Kills more. And how!
Heh, that is so funny she went away this week. Coincidence I think not. LOL. I totally JUST finished cleaning my entire first floor and sat down for a second. I never clean either.
I think it’s hysterical that Marinka took this week off, that’s fabulous
I am cleaning everything today and didn’t even know this so called ‘holiday’
I am sooo sorry about the Mac Book!!! ARGH. Glad WAlly fixed it, but YIKES on everything.
sheesh.
have another drink.
Yes they definitely need a National Clean that Nasty Grill Week. Not to mention a Clean Out the Fucking Storage Shed–You Don’t Even Play the Guitar! or Golf! or Surf! week. And maybe a Stop Buying Random Shit Because You Have Enough Hobbies Year.
All those other weeks fall right around the time that Hell freezes over – that happens shortly after the good intentions road ends.
National Man Junk – Clean Off Your Fucking Chest of Drawers – Week???!!!! Sign me up!
How about National “Would it Kill You to Rinse Off the Nasty Cereal Bowl Before You Stick it in the Dishwasher” Week? I’d get behind that one.
“Screw the road to hell is paved with good intentions! I’m on the highway to hell, with flames and shit on my car and a martini in my hand.” Make mine a boilermaker.
people can really clean without drinking? interesting…might have to try that. or not.
I couldn’t imagine what you meant by “National Man Junk” week, until I realized you meant man clutter, not private parts. Oh well. Also embarrassed that I’m the only one who read it that way.
Well, I haven’t cleaned all week-so I guess I am good-don’t want to be a conformist.
As for the Road to Hell being paved with good intentions-my grandmother always said that it meant you can think you are doing all the good in the world, but without Jesus you might as well be doing nothing at all.
Your supposed to clean your house? Crap.
National House Cleaning WEEK?
WTF?
You mean, I’ve been doing this shit all year long, when I really only have to do it for a WEEK?
This post was all worth it for the last paragraph. And the empty liquor bottle in the picture.
I mean, not that the rest of the post wasn’t great — it was. It was really funny and I laughed and laughed when I read all of it. I’m just saying.
Shit. I don’t know what I’m saying, because I’m drunk and my house is filthy.
McMama’s right. When you buy/sell a house, the garage goes right along with it. Therefore, it’s a part of the house. No gender lines should be drawn in the cleaning thereof. Ours was finished in 1948 and so the garage is as DEEP as cars were LONG in that day. Meaning that my old SUV and the husband’s extend-a-cab truck cannot fit. They sit on the driveway while the garage fills up with CRAP that does fit. I feel your pain. Next? National People Who Pee Standing Up Make the Biggest Mess (and should clean it up) Week.
I’m back from vacation and have been celenbrating Housecleaning week all weekend! Thank god THAT’s over! Can’t wait to do it again next year!
I think the saying is supposed to mean that you can have good intentions and mean well in your thoughts… but if you don’t fully carry through or if you let things slip away (even if you reaaaalllly MEANT to do well), bad shit can happen (ya know, despite MEANING to do well). That’s my 2 cents on the matter anyhow.
Here are three Talmudic sources about the importance of our intentions:
Berachos 5b: People who do what they can, and have good intentions, are rewarded.
Shabbos 63a: If someone intends to perform a commandment, but was unable to do it, he is regarded as if he had done it. (This is derived from the phrase “those who think of His Name” in Malachi 3:16.)
Nazir 23b: A sin performed with good intentions is as great as a good deed performed without good intentions. ”
.-= rockpinoy´s last blog ..What A Coincidence! =-.