Family Feud
Posted by Heather in Blood is thicker than water so good thing there's wine, Marital Bon MotYou’ve been with a man for almost 16 years and you’d think you would know all the interesting stuff about him. So how is it I didn’t know until this Easter weekend that Wally never hunted Easter eggs as a child.
Wally was hiding the eggs at his parent’s house for our boys to hunt when my mother-in-law said, “I never did Easter egg hunts for Wally and his sister.”
It’s entirely possible I looked at her like she’d just announced a new career as a stripper for the senior citizen center – a look of surprise and distaste. I don’t know what I did I was so shocked.
Not hunting Easter eggs on Easter Sunday in our small, southern, Baptist hometown was just not done. It’s a concept I can’t wrap my mind around. In a town as small as that, there is absolutely nothing to do for fun, so you had to make the most of your holiday fun, or else you’re left finding your fun in sticks and cow patties.
Then, when I made a derisive remark about the Twilight books, my mother-in-law piped up and said how much she enjoyed them. What respect I had left for her evaporated. You can’t have a relationship with the insane.
When we got back to my mom’s, I told her what my mother-in-law said and then asked Wally why he never told me he didn’t get to hunt Easter eggs.
“I don’t know.”
“My god, what is wrong with your mother?!”
Wally’s nonchalant reply was, “It’s not like I never hunted eggs. I got to do it at school.”
“I just can’t believe you grew up never hunting eggs with your family.” I said, heatedly.
“Well, we didn’t.”
“WHAT DID YOU DO FOR FUN, FOR PETE’S SAKE!”
“Why do you think I joined the Army at nineteen, Heather.”
“Poor thing, you didn’t know fun at all until you met me, did you?!”
“Nope.”
When I tried to insist Wally got to hunt eggs with the kids this year, he got pissy with me.
“I don’t know how you can be so blasé about this. You should be in therapy over it!”
“Why do you care so much?”
“I’m angry for you!”
“It’s in the past. I can’t do anything about it now. I do Easter egg hunts with the boys. I’m not scarred by it.”
Gesh, it’s like he doesn’t know how to have a family feud at all.
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Poor guy! I just found out the French get their candy from the Easter bells, not the Easter Bunny. Guess it takes all kinds, huh?
You seem to be forgetting the law-of-southerness that says that as Southerners EVERYONE we have a relationship with is at least a little bit insane!
why can’t you have a relationship with the insane? Are you breaking up with me?!?
I didn’t even grow up in a Christian family and I hunted Easter eggs every single year until I was 15.
This was the first year in 22 years that I didn’t get an Easter basket. Apparently the Easter Bunny (read: Dad) thinks I’m too old for chocolate bunnies and jelly beans. I disagree.
That was very nice of you to be angry for him. Sorry he didn’t appreciate it.
I’ll forgive you for the Twilight comment.
So the Twilight books are not all I’m being told they are? Good, I don’t have time to read them anyways.
I have a MIL with issues too. Apparently yesterday, during a perfectly nice Easter dinner, MIL got upset that my daughter (who mind you is 2 and incapable of mind-games) favored Aunt L over Grandma and wanted me to know she was upset about it.
Still not sure what I was supposed to do with this information – lecture the shortest person in the room? Tell P to fake it til she makes it? Bribe her with cash? Ugh.
It’s a good thing I fell in love with hubs BEFORE meeting the MIL, no telling where we might be today cause she would have been a deal-breaker.
I never hunted eggs either. I hadn’t carved a pumpkin for Halloween or built a snowman until college. My mom just didn’t do that fun stuff. When I joke with her about it, she gets all defensive and tries to make me think I’ve just forgotten all of those thing but short of major head trauma of which I am unaware I couldn’t have blocked all of those warm fuzzy childhood things. No therapy here…but I do have a lot of fun doing them with my kids!
Does he not understand the value of a good feud? What better to feud about than the horrible things he had to endure as a child? Jeeze…
And for the record I’m not reading the Twilight books because they’re a fad based on vampires preaching abstinence to preteens. And yes, I’m aware that by making that comment I’m dooming myself to be torn apart by all of the adults who ran out to buy all of the books and the movie and the t-shirt and the posters….. Aggghhh.
OK, first of all, no egg hunts?! He really did live a deprived life…until he met you. Damn. You have a lot more corrupting to do…get to it.
And I can’t resist. I usually don’t address other comments, but – Valerie – you’re way off base about Twilight. There are many other reasons NOT to like the series, I’ll give you that. BUT “vampires preaching abstinence to preteens”?!?! Are you for real?! Um, there is such a sexual undertone throughout the entire series – NOTHING about abstinence. Nothing. And I went to 12 years of Catholic school. I can recognized a wolf in a bunny costume, trust me. Not so much.
Gosh. He sounds like a well-adjusted, put-together kind of guy.
With a mother like that? You got lucky.
At least he takes your side in arguments with his mom. That took me a decade.
I suppose you could prod him into reading the Twilight books and then engage him in some combat. The eggs seem a far less mind-numbing way to go, though.
Thank you for standing firm in your anti-Twilight resolve. I just cannot. Don’t want to. Can’t.
Um, my heart hurts a little (lot) for Wally right now. Because of the dearth of Easter egg hunts, sure. But also, I have a feeling this is just one symptom of bigger things. Bummer.
It was fun at my in-law’s get-together when my mil flicked bubble liquid on her new step-mother and blamed it on my 2 yo nephew. talk about passive aggressive.
Maybe she was just lazy. Now what little hick town do you hail from Shake Shake? A Bama town?
i never hunted easter eggs either. oh wait…it’s because i’m jewish.
and as for twilight…i knew i was starting to stalk…er…visit your blog for a reason. i couldn’t even read past the first chapter of the first book. phew…i’m not the only one.
anyway…
hope you had a nice easter.
No Easter egg hunts? Practically child abuse.
Never hunted eggs as a kid either. But you can be sure my boy gets to hunt for eggs every year and he’ll continue to do so until I say he’s done!
We didn’t hunt for eggs either and Santa was pretty much ruined by my live-in grandmother.
Not only did she put them out on the WRONG DAY. She used to “wrap” the Santa gifts in old card boxes and the scraps of wrapping paper we were forced to meticulously save from our birthdays…
I try to avoid spending the holidays with my family… and this is why.
I was never blessed with an egg hunt by my parents, either. I remember going to the town park for an egg hunt one year, but it was wet and rainy, so they put the eggs in the tennis courts. Not exactly a egg hunt. More of an egg slugfest.
MPS’s family was the same.
When Moo was born he ACTUALLY SAID TO ME ‘You are not going to do that whole Christmas thing are you?’
They didn’t even have a TREE!
It was all about going to church and crap. Same with Easter.
He was so confused about the whole hiding eggs and then finding them thing, he was all ‘why don’t you just give them the damn eggs and save the hassle’
This is what I have had to work with Heather.
I think we need a drink. I am buying.
I very frequently get upset on my husband’s behalf for some trifle that happened when he was young that didn’t upset him then and doesn’t upset him now. Like the fact that one of his brothers has a birthday close to his and they use to take a picture with one of the kids, change the candle to a different age, and then take a picture of the second kid. No. Every kid deserves his own birthday cake.
He doesn’t care.
But even now I am righteous in my anger. Ha!
Twilight – Ugh.
Easter egg hunting… nothing to do with Christianity… just something fun, and just for fun is alright in my book.
I never hunted Easter eggs at home, either… but then, I joined the Marines at age 17, for what are probably many of the same reasons as your husband (Note: The armed forces are chock full of young people who needed to not live in their homes anymore).
You are a good woman, Heather. My wife, like you, spends a lot of her time angry at my mother about things done/undone in my youth that I just have numb scar tissue about.
Blessings on you and your family.
Bill
Well, Family Feud is actually a classic game that traces back wayback in the 80′s i guess. It is a nice game anyway.,.*
I know what you’re writing about. I’m going through the same thing now… Thanks for sharing!