Housewifely Advice: Look to me for magic mushroom recipes and Hugh Jackman
Posted by Heather in Linky LoveI hope you noticed the new button in my left sidebar, The Mouthy Housewives, because it has a very important question located above it.
How many wives does it take to get to the center of this church- and government-sanctioned slave ring? The world may never know.
Such a profound question, which leads to others. Who is responsible for the legal form of slavery called Housewife? How did it get started? We could debate it all day.
But while the paranoid schizophrenics debate numerous conspiracy theories, real life happens in the way of stains on couches, neighbors blowing leaves, and a friend’s frisky husband. This is where the Mouthy Housewives can help, taking their zeal for all things clean and turning it into comprehensive wifely advice that most comatose women will appreciate.
When asked to be a part of the writing team at The Mouthy Housewives, my first question was if they knew I had laced the from-scratch brownies I gave them with pot and that the powdered sugar on top was actually powdered magic mushroom from my secret backyard garden. They didn’t know what I was talking about, so obviously Jessica Seinfeld should stand aside for the adult version of her cookbook I’m currently writing.
Now that I’ve had time to digest the opportunity, I realize I’m perfectly suited to write housewifely advice since, as you’ll find out in an upcoming blog post, I’ve recently had a lobotomy and can think of nothing but domestic delights.
Who else makes up The Mouthy Housewives writers? Four of the funniest women I know. Click over to find out who, check out our tip of the week and while you’re there, submit a question. The first five questions submitted today will be answered at no charge. Okay, all questions will be answered at no charge, but for cash, I’m willing to tell you the secret locations of the underground railroad for housewives where Hugh Jackman poses as your husband and anyone who interrupts you while using the toilet is immediately deported. You’re probably accessing your paypal account right now!
Entries (RSS)
I went to Mouthy Housewives, and loved it! Watch for my question, just love the irreverent treatment of our problems. This is perfect for you…why should you carry the burden and pressure of being the world’s funniest women. Now others can carry that workload with you…let them feel the sheer pressure of knowing you gotta be funny that day…
I checked it out – AWESOME. Added it to my reader. Looking forward to more
Half the answers sound like you wrote them (or do other people have your attitude)
I GUESS I’ll check it out. Right after I fix my drink.
Congrats on the new gig!
p.s. I haven’t thought about pot in brownies in a LONG time and that seems kind of like a damn shame.
Deported to where? Don’t be like those bloody English and send all your toilet interupters here to Australia. We have our fill here.
And girl, you be rocking the housewifely advice thingy.