I probably shouldn’t tell you this, but I may have syphilis
Posted by Heather in A Bunch of NothingOkay. So. Yesterday. That was my equivalent of an emotional breakdown. That’s as spectacular as it gets, people, which I’m not so sure reflects a strong emotional foundation or that, hello, I’m a mother and who has time for their own dramatic emotional breakdowns when there are children I’m required to psychologically fuck up.
Things will be fine. The P.E. thing will be fine. Payton will be fine. We’re taking steps to make it better, both on an individual level for Payton (social skills work, yay!) and a wider school level (anti-bully campaign, yay!) It will be okay.
And whatever happens with this volunteer place I won’t name because of search engines, it’ll be okay too. Broken hearts mend and shit. You can’t stop genius. And…and…well, I’m sure I’ll come up with other one-liners to help soothe the guilt of ripping my son’s heart out. It will all work out for the best, however it finally unfolds.
And even though I’m in some kind of blog identity crisis, I’ll be okay too! Sure, I’ve been posting things and then taking them down like a total flaky ninny, but sometimes it’s fun to stretch yourself into a new personality. Since I’ve been doing the whole confident woman blogger with balls thing for a while, I figure flaky ninny would be a nice change.
Lately I’ve been questioning what is okay to share and what I shouldn’t, why am I saying this, should I even say it, or when I become famous, will this come back to haunt me? I’ve half-written about a dozen pieces in the past three weeks and then stopped because I wonder if I should be saying it. Basically it appears I’m coming down with a case of the Ethics and I wonder if this is what syphilis feels like once it invades your brain.
Case in point, I just looked up syphilis for spelling, read the definition and now wonder if I could possibly have it since the second stage of the disease affects your skin, lymph nodes and mucus membranes.
Motherfucker.
I’ve been sick numerous times this year with mucus-y crap and right now the lymph nodes in my neck are still sore from this latest bout over the weekend, and the time before that, I even had a viral skin rash on my neck.
Oh my god. I probably shouldn’t have shared with the internet that I may have syphilis. Why did I say it? Should I have even said it? I hope you’re subscribed to my blog in a reader since it’s possible I’ll take this over-sharing post down in 2 hours.
Wow, I think I actually managed some lighthearted banter. All things consider, that’s awesome. I would pat myself on the back but I’m afraid I may discover some syphilis tumor back there.
School got out yesterday so it’s like I overdosed on Ex-lax. What a load off! Now it’s time for us to become like hermit crabs and live in our own little shell where everything we do is normal and the outside world is full of crazies, unbelievable asshats and infidels. (That could be the syphilis talking again.)
While I’m trying to sort out this whole Ethics thing, I think it’ll be a good idea if I go back to my blogging roots. What that means is my next post will be about flatulence. With a picture of my butt. We’ll see how long that one lasts before I go all flaky ninny on you and take it down because, holy shit, who posts a picture of their ass on their blog?
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Glad to see you’r coping okay…I meant to Twitter you last night (sound much dirtier than it is) to see if you were ok (and Payton too) but Hans was doing the doctoral thesis thing and we’re still only with one comp. Glad to see it’s only the syph eating your brain.
I hate this cast.
Hey Heather,
I’ve been lurking and loving your blog for over a year or so now and have never posted but just wanted to say how much I love your posts and how much you inspire me. I’m a Mum of two boys too, and so often your posts make me either laugh out loud or cry. You are a fantastic Mum and I marvel at your strenght and your spirit. I’m also learning lots about the Southern States from you! I live in New Zealand so many worlds away…… Anyway I just wanted to say hi and that I think of you and your family often and that you effect my parenting in many ways. Thank you for sharing, your blog means alot to me.
Megan
Syphilis totally suits you.
As does mama bear.
But I hear you sweetie. Why do you think I asked you to guest post? I couldn’t share and you are awesome. Win Win for me.
Heather-Shit. I’m a hypo, so now I’m coughing and feelin my swollen lymphs and quite sure that i have syphillis now. I swear like a drunken sailor too. more symptoms we share. fuck. ~rick
I’ll post a picture of your ass on my blog anytime. You just send it over.
If it looks better than my own, I’m claiming the bitch.
Fair warning and all.
And I still come here and laugh a little. I’ve never had a friend admit to having an STD – well, one, but we’re not really friends anymore because she’s kinda nasty. You can be my token friend.
I say fuck it. It’s your blog and you say what you want to say and share what your want to share. It’s yours!
I say fuck it. It’s your blog and you say what you want to say and share what your want to share. It’s yours!
Heather, somehow I know you’ll still be real. You can do whatever you want, it’s your blog, and you are the queen of it. You are hilarious, and I check those posts several times a day, JUST in case there’s one I’ll catch that I know you’ll take down in 2 hours. That is you. I love that part about it. I always picture a movie about you, showing your running out of your car on the way home from Payton’s school , running in through the door, throwing your purse and keys on the table, and hitting the computer like a madwoman. Only to show you taking it all down 2 hrs later. I love that. xoxoxo
Goddammit, like I didn’t have enough to worry about, now I’m all paranoid that I caught syphillis from reading your blog. I’m going to start wearing a full-body Internet condom before I go blog surfing from now on. You people are fucking dangerous.
I’ve been reading you via my google reader for ever… I thought you really were just saying what ev’ needed to be said… Wow, if it’s about to get hot in here, someone hook a sista up to an ice cold IV! And I can’t wait to see your butt!
You know, don’t worry so much about ethics. If you want to write about something – just do it. I’m sure it will be entertaining – or heart warming – or at least readable. Dude, you post about farts and butts and syphilis and we keep coming back. Keep it real.
BTW, we have 4 more weeks of school and I CAN’T WAIT for summer.
Great, now I have syphilis too.
Sorry to tell you, but outside world is full of crazies, unbelievable asshats and infidels. Except for you and me of course, and the rest of the people that leave commments here.
I’ll join Amo, feel free to email photos and I’ll be happy to post them, labeling them as some anonymous blogger.
Of course everything will be fine, eventually. That’s life, right? I’m going through shit right now, too, and I’m ready to run the hell away for the summer.
Hey, haven’t you ever seen HNT’s??? There are a lot naked booties on their blogs! LOL
Does this mean that since I fondled your Mac at BlissDom that I could have it too? It would certainly explain a lot.
Sheesh.
Let’s talk Booty.. because yours was looking purty damn darlin and cute then.. So if you post a picture can I pretend it’s mine? Because I guarandamntee it looks better than mine
MUST SHRED.
There are asshats everywhere. Just keep knowing that P is one hell of an amazing kid, you are doing a spectacular job and that we are here for any meltdowns, tantrums, rants or whatever you feel like doing.
Loves and hugs and smooshy stuff.
Just hoping my anti-virus software can deal.
Heather, you have to be who you are, where you are.
Let’s all rock The Syph together!
(I don’t think I spelled that right in my lame ass attempt to be cool. I am so incredibly not cool!)
I have about a hundred posts in my brain that are filled with things I Want To Write So My Head Doesn’t Explode, and yet I can’t get them to post. I’m struggling a bit, too, on this whole putting myself out there realm. By that I don’t mean posting a photo of my ass, though. Yet, anyway.
Syphilis?!! That is comedic gold right there.
Glad you’re getting a respite from school.
SWINE FLU!!!!!!!!!!
oh. I guess that was LAST month. my bad.
So now if people are hacking, coughing, miserable, pitiful in public, I should shout SSSSSSSYPHILISSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!! instead?
Also, the only ethical thing running through my mind is how EVIL it is to know there was an injustice in the world and I’ve been informed that the injustice exists but not what it was. In other words, it’s not fair tease the nosy parkers.