If You Read This, You May Want To Cut Me. But Don’t, Because I’m Cursed.
Posted by Heather in A Bunch of NothingSo be honest with me, if I told you I’m prancing around the house today in a pair of size 8 Gap jeans with ZERO muffin top, would you want to cut me? What if I told you about my two new size 8 wool skirts? I can feel you mentally sharpening your razor blades.
Before you get psychotic, though, think of this: I’ve finally managed to drop below 145 lbs, something I haven’t done in, god, I don’t know how long I’ve blocked it from my memory, and Halloween is TOMORROW. And, people, I fully believe in fighting childhood obesity. It’s a cause I thoroughly support, especially at Halloween.
Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups is my kryptonite, and Reese’s Pieces it’s evil pebbles. I. Can’t. Resist.
Even if I do somehow make it through Halloween without gaining back the 8 pounds I’ve lost, Thanksgiving is just weeks around the corner. And then Parker’s birthday follows immediately. Have you tasted my buttercream icing? No? Then you haven’t truly lived. And then Christmas baking begins just a week or two after that. Have you had my fudge? OMG. I’m a confection goddess. It’s both a curse and a gift.
I think I’ve pretty much set myself up for failure so I might as well go polish off Parker’s can of Pringles he uses for his lunch box, maybe bake some cookies too. If you follow my Twitter feed, you know I am weak, so very weak.
I celebrate weight loss by eating fattening food. I am a fucking genius. Obviously.
I honestly don’t know how to get through the holidays without making an offensive, gluttonous foodie out of myself. I can’t even blog about holiday baking, it has me craving a red velvet cake and Christmas shaped sugar cookies with buttercream icing right now, so I better shut up.
How does one go about it, getting through the holidays without any weight gain? Is it possible? At least possible without adding in the *RESULTS NOT TYPICAL disclaimer, which by the way, the government is making illegal before Christmas holidays. No one can say Obama didn’t institute viable change, by god.
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Good for you! That is awesome! I don’t want to cut you, just because I know how hard it is. I’m not a saint though…I jumped for joy when my SIL gained a BUNCH of weight. Obviously, I like you more. Although, I think I might cut a nun to be able to get into an 8 right now.
I found an amazing way to cut back on holiday goodies. Break your oven. Mine went out a week ago, and I have seen fabulous results because I am reduced to eating salad or grilled stuff. I’d replace the damn thing, but we’re going to Cancun in 4 days and Christmas is coming. Which means I get out of a bunch of holiday baking for family too. I’d say this was a blessing…
Butterfingers do me in. And Heath. Fortunately the mixed bags don’t contain much of those, so all there is left is Whoppers and Milk Duds.
.-= Heather´s last blog ..The Joys of The Season =-.
The holidays are tough! My fav is sugar cookies with my mom’s frosting. Those are something I can’t stay away from! However my family sticks to tradition and has the same foods every year, so I take just a dab of my faves and not gorging myself either. I hate to sound lame- but moderation is key.
.-= ReinventingAmy´s last blog ..Let’s Talk SHOES!!! =-.
Um, no, don’t want to cut you, after those descriptions I am thinking of other things. I’m thinking of, um, well, ok, fudge and red velvet cake and Reese’s (love those too) (not really, but more politically correct for your comments). Looking forward to a few pounds this holiday season myself.
.-= joeinvegas´s last blog ..Halloween in Vegas & E Friday =-.
I have zero willpower. My bane is baking cobblers, cookies and cakes. Only glad my kids have outgrown Halloween, or I could dress as the Great Pumpkin. Congrats on the renewed size 8s.
.-= Tara R.´s last blog ..SkyWatch Friday, season 4, episode 16 =-.
At least in January you’ll be breaking even, instead of tipping the scales. It’s always better to start with a deficit.
.-= rimarama´s last blog ..Itzhak Perlman I Am Not =-.
Congrats on fitting in your size 8s! That’s awesome!
.-= Karly´s last blog ..How Did My Life Come To This? I Mean, REALLY. =-.
If you have a hand mixer, maybe you can create a way to power it by pedaling an exercise bike.
I actually had to type the word ‘exercise’ SIX TIMES because I couldn’t figure out how to spell it correctly. Six times. Clearly, if that’s not an indication that I need to do more of it, I don’t know what is.
(p.s. – Hell, yes! Congratulations on the size 8s. I’d have stepped out into the cul de sac and yelled that for the neighbors if it were me!)
.-= foradifferentkindofgirl (fadkog)´s last blog ..and now for something completely different =-.
Oh, Resee’s cups are my weakness also. I’ve already helped myself to a share of the candy we’ll be handing out to trick-or-treaters tonight. Good thing I have my shiny new pedometer so I can keep track of my steps as I walk off all this candy.
.-= Eric´s last blog ..Walking across america – 10,000 steps at a time =-.
and once you get through the holidays, january and february are so depressing that what can you do but EAT.
.-= the mama bird diaries´s last blog ..halloween is harder than it looks =-.
i’m with ya on the Reeces. i too lost weight and worry about the holidays/winter usual weight gain. i’m trying out soups as a filling, good-for-you go-to food. it’s hard to eat lots of salad when the temps get low!
but you know what’s good after soup? reeces!
.-= Wendy´s last blog ..happy meow-o-ween! =-.
seriously, we are one. have you tasted my frosting? no? well it’s to die for. but don’t die. lol i love holiday baking, but not the largeness my ass gets from it. but i do the same thing.. i’ve lost 4 pounds, i can TOTALLY eat movie theatre popcorn and jr mints!!!!!!!!!!!
.-= jennster´s last blog ..apparently we’re white trash =-.
congrats on the size 8!! As to how you don’t gain weight over the holidays, I have no clue. Altho I have found that if I cut out all the pesky, good for you foods and live off of cookies (I make tassies with nuts…so there’s protein in there) The sugar high will help you to stay up late at night burning off any calories that try to stick to you!
.-= Domestic Extraordinaire´s last blog ..The Joy of Jumping =-.
kudos to you on your weight loss! WAIT- congratulations, i mean! kudos is a snackfood.
strangely, i lost a lotta weight myself & i so know what you mean about celebrating. mac n cheese anyone?
with all the yummy foods coming my way over the holidays, i’m considering nursing my 1yo 4x a day instead of just twice!
that has been the thing that has gotten me to my smallest.
who knew?
.-= mpotter´s last blog ..the making of The Mr. =-.
I have lost 11 pounds in the last two weeks by just watching what I’m eating, eating less of it, and mildly exercising. I haven’t felt better right now than I have in years.
But almost all my girlfriends are pissy with me over it. So I celebrate your success and cheer you on!
I think I’ll make an apple pie in your honor.
.-= Amo´s last blog ..Filed under: Only Happens to Amo =-.