I don’t know if you are aware of the most recent world crisis, but apparently there will be a shortage of Eggo waffles through the middle of 2010.
This really puts into perspective the insignificance of universal health care. Who gives a damn about that, what we really want to know is how world leaders will avert a famine-induced Eggo Apocalypse.
My guess is the government will take over Eggo production and we’ll be forced to appear before committees, testifying why we deserve to receive our weekly allotment of Eggo waffles instead of death.
Well, thank God you’re reading my blog, because this full-blooded American has a solution. Power to the people! and all that revolutionary, anti-government Beatles/John Lennon shit.
Today I will explain how to make your own waffles, again without pictures. But pay attention anyway, even without the picture pages! There is a lot of classified & highly intellectual stuff in here that Eggo wouldn’t want you to have, like the ability to pronounce all of the ingredients in your waffles.
First, plug in your waffle iron to begin heating, then crack two eggs into a bowl, preferably one with a pour spout.
Next, mix in…
1 3/4 C. milk
1/2 C. oil
2 C. flour
4 tsp baking powder
1 tbsp sugar
1/2 tsp salt
dash of vanilla
Just dump it all in and then whip all of it together with a wire whisk until smooth.
What, that’s it?
Yes, for quite a while, Eggo had me thinking homemade waffles were more complicated too, but it’s an easy recipe.
Now! Pour desired amount of batter into the griddle. This part is a bit tricky. If you pour too much, the batter will ooze out the sides and back which makes me utter cuss words before 8 am, it’s a huge pain in the ass to clean up that kind of mess. So, pour less than you think you need to fill up the griddle sections and then spread the batter around to see if it fills in. If not, add a little bit more.
Close your griddle. Give it a couple of minutes, but once you see a good amount of steam coming from the iron, lift it up and check. My boys don’t like crispy waffles, so I take mine out when lightly browned. Adjust brownness for your tastes.
See? That wasn’t hard at all and I averted an apocalypse. You’re welcome.
In other world-stopping news, here are my children home from school, ELECTIVELY PLAYING WITH TOYS INSTEAD OF VIDEO GAMES. TOGETHER! WITHOUT FIGHTING! OMFG.
Also, stop the presses, here’s the laundry basket, devoid of dirty clothes. Because I’m all caught up with laundry.
This moment lasted all of 2 hours so it’s vitally important to record such historic moments for posterity, people. If we don’t, these memories can be lost to vodka tonics and tranquilizers. Don’t be like me and learn this the hard way. Look at my kitchen.
It was clean for a good 5.78 seconds, but stupid me, I didn’t grab the camera within that time and before I could turn around, it looked like that.
Don’t let history pass you by.
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Do you actually have TWO coffee makers? Dang, way to go. I have no idea why you have an oven. I also appreciate the fact that all of your stools have stuff piled on them, thus perpetuating the whole “all flat surfaces must have crap piled on them” look of my house.
Shmoo´s last blog ..How I feel about Healthcare reform
Yeah. Don’t wanna buy a waffle thingie, but my pancakes kick arse.
witchypoo´s last blog ..Open Mouth Insert Foot
Shmoo: Yes. One pot is just coffee and that’s Wally’s. The other pot is Irish Creme with a splash of coffee and its mine.
I kid, I kid. One is broken, the other is the new one. I haven’t disposed of the broken one yet because my conservationist son would disown me if I didn’t recycle it somehow. Where do you take broken appliances to be recycled?
Alright, I don’t have a waffle maker, but you described the story of my life in that last photo. No matter how much I keep things neat and clean, it only lasts for about 2.5 seconds.
Theta Mom´s last blog ..Blogger Was Like a Really Bad Boyfriend, So He Finally Got the Boot
Dear sweet heaven! My boys had early out today and they came home and played nicely together with…wait for it…THE VERY SAME BATMAN CAVE!!
I do not mean to yell, but I think the two of us should seriously consider these are the End Days.
That’s a real lesson in seizing the moment. Carpe Diem, baby.
Gretchen´s last blog ..Pee No More
Tears appeared in my eyes at the sight of your empty laundry hamper. The only possible way mine is ever empty…is if I either a) dump it on the floor or b) throw all my clothes away.
I haven’t been caught up on laundry for 15 years. My kids are 14 and 15 and I believe I washed a onsie and a bib the other day.
I think Eggos taste weird…so anyone can have my rations…I’m totally game for making them myself.
Heather´s last blog ..Adventures in Flying
I live in Belgium. Eggos are beneath my standards. Eggos are like…the Spam of waffles to me now.
Lilacspecs´s last blog ..Let Me Paint You a Picture
You make me laugh. Especially the part about the boys playing together, with toys! and no fighting! That’s a big occurrence around here as well.
anymommy´s last blog ..Mother’s Milk
Laundry hampers DO NOT have bottoms. I have no idea where you obtained that clearly photoshopped picture. Even when you buy them they come with dirty clothes.
Don’t they?
Barbara: I got the photo from Ralph Lauren.
I heard that story on the news the other day too. I looked smugly at my husband and reminded him that it won’t affect this family because I haven’t bought frozen waffles in YEARS and YEARS. I’ve always made my own. I use a buttermilk recipe – mmmmm. I just cook them until just done, wrap each one and place them in a ziploc. Into the freezer they go! When someone wants a waffle for breakfast on a weekday, I just defrost it a bit in the microwave and then put it in the toaster. Done. Nearly good as fresh and definitely better than Eggo.
Yeah. That clean look is out here too. How is it possibly attained with kids in school? There’s too much STUFF that comes home!
Bravo! My basket are never without dirty clothes, even when I am caught up. My daughter thinks she must change her clothes more than Cher and no matter how long she has on a piece of clothing it goes straight into the basket.
As for the waffles, yup I have know the secret. However, my kids don’t like my homemade waffles. They don’t like my homemade mac and cheese, either. *sigh*
SoMo´s last blog ..Strapping on the Old Feed Bag
I actually have a heart shape waffle maker, that my kids love so much. I don’t have time to make them during the week, but my son requests them on the weekends. It’s a special time we have together cooking in the kitchen, before he realizes, Oh yeah, that I’m the freakin mom and he’s the 15 year old who has other shit to do. Too sad.
soccermom´s last blog ..Injury by Maglight Flashlight
We were just talking about the Eggo Apocolypse this morning at my office. Hopefully the government won’t start taxing them. (WAIT DON’T GIVE THEM ANY IDEAS!)
Your kitchen countertop area looks amazingly like mine and I mean that in a nice way. Tee hee.
p.s. laundry finished? What is this that you speaketh of??!!!!
I, unfortunately, represent one of the “other” Eggo constituencies…the too-drunk-at-2am-to-make-homemade-anything-but-need-carbs-so-I-won’t-die single twentysomething. (At least I have a career and can use “constituencies” in a sentence.) I suppose I will have to survive on Toaster Strudels until this travesty is over. *Sigh*
Megan´s last blog ..Throwback Thursday: Spring Break 2002
Posts like this make it clear to me that our housekeeping concubine idea is necessary and relevant. Where’s my HO, yo? Mama needs waffles and clean drawers! Cause no way am I following your lead and doing that shnizzle mahself.
Bejewell´s last blog ..Lollipop in My Hair
Haven’t done Eggos in years, but with kids I can see how they might substitute for PopTarts. Also, word yesterday of a pumpkin shortage; Libby’s says the number of cans will be severely limited this year. So for those of you that haven’t grown your own, Thanksgiving might be without P Pie.
joeinvegas´s last blog ..E Friday – hair
Um, what is this cooking from scratch you speak of? Pfft. We will have to move on to toaster sticks I think.
The Stiletto Mom´s last blog ..And Now An Important Announcement…