You know, bloggers can take those arbitrary web awards and place them on their special shelf of web awards. (I mean, these awarders do actually send an award to the winners and aren’t using virtual “awards” as a guise for link baiting and driving traffic to their own site, right? Certainly there is something tangible to show for it?)
I don’t really think I need those awards to say, hey, I’ve made it! While I’ve not been posting this week, readers have actually checked in on me to make sure I’m okay. That’s a first, and I’m pretty sure that is the definition of blogging success – having readers who care enough to want to know if you are okay if you disappear for several days. At least that’s how me and my unadorned shelf will define it.
Everything has been fine with me, just fine. If suffering from a mutant flu virus is fine.
I have this insane obsession about cleaning my baseboards right now and it’s very time consuming. I don’t exactly what that means except that it must be caused by some mutation of the swine flu that affects the brain. Why isn’t the CDC on that one? Millions of housewives could become infected! Surely there’s a vaccination? Like wine taken intravenously? Surely.
And speaking of housewives, I’m over at the Mouthy Housewives today discussing how to tell your sister she’s both fat and stupid. Solid gold advice, people. So golden, in fact, that the Executive Office of the President of the USA is reading our blog. We suspect the Massachusetts election upset has something to do with Obama turning to us for advice. Who wouldn’t? We’re fucking awesome.
You better get your questions to us now before all of our time is taken up saving our country through economic and health care advice to the President. If we can mediate our way through playgroups and teacher conferences, surely we can get Republicans and Democrats to play nice together? Then again, the children in the playgroups probably have more maturity than Congress, so…
Oh dear, I feel another onset of baseboard fever setting in. If anyone would like to ship the vaccine to me (you know that wine vaccine?), you can mail it to:
Heather Shake-Shake
123 Housewife Hell Road
Winter sucks, MF’ers 12345
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Hope you get better, but I know it means waiting for warm weather.
In the meantime, come on out to Vegas and recover, our baseboards are looking a little peekid too.
joeinvegas´s last blog ..E Swinging (again)
Hey…hang on. Summer is coming. It is in the 70’s here in Louisiana so I am sure it is headed your way….but first rain.
Snap out of it! No, seriously, hope you feel better soon. It’s the blog world just doesn’t feel the same without you….neither does the Twittering world.
Keyona´s last blog ..True Colors
I hope you get better soon. It’s pretty drastic to be out of wine and have to resort to cleaning baseboards. My great-aunt has that task in her weekly rotation of cleaning duties, but then again, she polished her four little boys’ shoes EVERY NIGHT before dinner so that they would look clean and tidy when Daddy came home, so we can all be pretty sure that she was not drinking enough wine.
MommyTime´s last blog ..Flights of Fancy
oops, I meant she HAD it in her rotation. Back in the 1950s. She is long-departed, though it wouldn’t surprise me if wherever she has ended up, she has set up a schedule that includes baking the week’s pies and cakes on Saturday morning.
MommyTime´s last blog ..Flights of Fancy
Mutant flu virus = bad. I think wine injections might definitely be the solution!
Jessa´s last blog ..Day 21/365 An Arm Kicking
HaHa! Miss Heather, you is both smart AND funny!
Oh,wait, and you have good hair, too.
We missed you…