Judging by the number of comments on yesterday’s post, I think I can assume that many of you would rather not read about my sabotaging habits with food. To that I say too fucking bad.
I make that kind of strong statement, but then again I also promised drunk Mardi Gras blogging and haven’t done that either. It’s the strangest thing, now that I’m 36 I feel like I’m official grown up. Gah! We’ve already attended numerous parades, but I had only one drink at each. What in the hell is happening to me?!
I think this feeling also has something to do with the new living furniture. I’m not kidding, my living room looks like actual grown-ups live in it, it’s so pulled together and coordinated. No more mish-mash of furniture reminiscent of our college days.
I don’t even know who I am anymore. I have to check an entirely new age demographic box on surveys. Fuck.
But back to this food thing.
Before he dated me, Wally dated (mostly) chunky women. I’m convinced he did this so he would be the sexier one in the relationship. Then I came along and threw a monkey wrench in his usual plan, but he seemed to like the change because here I am, almost 17 years later.
On Tuesday, though, he took the remaining low-fat chicken soup I spent two hours making and left me with a peanut butter & jelly sandwich for lunch. I think this is a passive aggressive way of telling me he doesn’t want me to drop below 140 because he wants to be the prettier one in the relationship.
These are the things I’m up against, people. I don’t know how to retaliate.
And while we’re talking about husbands, if your husband would rather watch porn than have sex with you (his wife), is it your fault? Tell me over here.
By the way, the Mouthy Housewives are throwing a cocktail party in Manhattan during BlogHer this year. Wouldn’t you love to hear me speak Southernese in New York City? So go join our Facebook party page. The more who join, the more likely I’ll go to NYC this summer, and I don’t know about you, but that sounds like a great way to retaliate against my soup-stealing husband.
Entries (RSS)
LOL… sabotaging you. He might be, but he’ll never be hotter than you, right? I wish my husband would eat more low-fat items. He’s changed his diet a little since his blood pressure rose so high you could see steam coming off his head, but he still won’t touch anything labeled “low fat.”
.-= VirtualSprite´s last blog ..attitude =-.
It definitely sounds like mutiny.
SOUP MUTINY.
How dare he.
.-= Sincerely, Jenni´s last blog ..Not sure I really wanted to know the answers to all of these… =-.
Yeah – I’m 32 almost 33 and have 4 kiddos but still don’t feel like an adult. The women I work with laughed at me when I told them I still can’t believe I’m married. (We are going on 6 years). I’m hoping that it’ll all sink in sometime in the next 2 years…I have to get my shit together sooner or later.
Oh – and I feel your pain on the hubby stealing your food issue. I’ve been doing Weight Watchers online and every “diet” snack I buy (except celery because he hates it) my husband eats before I can!
.-= Janene´s last blog ..Dutch Ovens – and cool new blog =-.
No way…Wally a chubby chaser??? I never would’ve had him pegged..
I quit buying that expensive Jenny Craig stuff b/c Mark would eat it all, at one time. He’d be like “wow…these are really good for 100 calories” and then he’d eat like 8 of them at one time.
I must be lucky my hubby doesnt watch porn, he’d rather watch ME!!! Yeah I am on a diet as well, I eat right, excersise but since I live in WINE country CA its hard to put down the veno….This SUCKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I hardly think the occassional sandwich is going to ruin your badass hot self. Maybe he thought you needed a reward for all your hard effort.
.-= Heather (qtberryhead)´s last blog ..Trying On The Big Girl Panties =-.
I am not a mouthy housewife but I am mouthy and going to Blogher so I joined the group.
.-= Jen´s last blog ..I am going to Blogher 10! =-.
I would kinda love to be CLOSE to 140. Hmp.
.-= Keyona´s last blog ..I Live With Peter Pan =-.
I agree maybe he was just trying to reward you. For being such a great wife. BTW the New York thing sounds great, good luck. Ill check it out on FB.
.-= Soccermom´s last blog ..Valentine Week Day 5 =-.
Since I am always, ALWAYS willing and ready for sex, any energy he has left in that arena had BETTER NOT be wasted on porn!
PB&J…. mmmmmm…..
.-= tracey´s last blog ..I cleaned my office… =-.
It’s because men can’t comprehend the thought of making their own lunch, even if it’s just a sandwich. They have to either reheat something or get it out of a can. I have the SAME problem with my husband … and his only excuse is, “It’s too hard to make lunch.” What?!
.-= Lynn´s last blog ..Thursday 13: Anywhere But Here =-.
Your soup was just too good. Why should he settle for second best? He didn’t in choosing his wife.
.-= joeinvegas´s last blog ..Canadians =-.
Woman,
I just read that Mobile was getting snow and I had to come over and see if you were making it.
We’ve had 11 snow days this year and I’m about to lose my mind. Plus, the weatherman is calling for an additional 3 inches of snow on Sunday…..lovely.
Thinking about all the freezing people at Mardi Gras and sooo jealous I am not there.
.-= Dejoni´s last blog ..Liar, Liar =-.