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Author: QueenOfShake

Why Little League is a Big Deal for Some Adults

Why Little League is a Big Deal for Some Adults

I’ve seen them at a swim meet, a ballet lesson, a parent-teacher conference, a piano recital, or on the sidelines of the little league field—parents, who are too concerned and overbearing about their child’s performance. While being enthusiastically involved in your child’s life is a good thing, an obsession with their ability to perform perfectly at a social event can be harmful to their fragile self-esteem.


Participating in sports, playing an instrument, or going to school should not cause a child to feel humiliated or embarrassed, but I’ve seen it happen all too often. A parent’s expectations are too high or they compare one sibling to another and the child feels inferior at home plate—whether on the field or at the family dinner table. (Some parents wait until they get home to discourage a child for their public performance.)


As parents, we are here to guide and support our children to be the best they can be at whatever profession or life path they choose. Why are some parents so hard on their kids to achieve greatness? Here are some of my observations.


Personality


Parents with what we call a Type-A personality are usually competitive and work-obsessed to the point that their behavior is impacting their health and wellbeing. They feel a strong sense of urgency, are impatient, get easily frustrated or upset over small things, interrupt others, walk or talk rapidly, and may be hostile or aggressive. Someone with a Type-A personality may not even be aware that they are mistreating others—especially their children. It’s not uncommon for little league coaches to exhibit Type-A personalities.


Lack of Self-Esteem


Some parents are motivated by their own lack of self-esteem and may push their children into competitive or performance-based activities. Then, when the child fails at the task, the parent feels disappointed or takes it personally. They may try to get their kids to “take it like a man” in order to strengthen their ability to be successful. They may tell their child, “You’ll never grow up to amount to anything if you give up now. You have to keep taking piano lessons no matter how much you hate it now. You’ll thank me for this one day.”


Embarrassment


Some parents feel embarrassed by their child’s mistakes and end up projecting their shame onto the innocent party. They may force their son to continue playing football because the father feels the boy is a sissy when he says he says he hates getting knocked down by his opponents. This parent may say things such as, “Knock them down before they get a chance to hit you.”


Living Vicariously Through Others


Those who hope to recover an unrealized dream of their own, may try to live and make up for it through their child’s life. This parent may say something like, “I could have been a professional ballplayer if my parents hadn’t made/let me quit the team when I was a teenager. You don’t know how lucky you are that I go to all your games.”


The TLC TV program, Toddlers and Tiaras, shows examples of moms who want their young daughters to win beauty pageants at all costs. Perhaps the mother is still feeling rejected because she never made the cheerleading team in high school.


I realize that parents don’t intend to harm their children. Many times we are simply repeating the parenting methods that were used to raise us. Intuitive children are more emotionally sensitive than some of the members of our generation.


Here are some suggestions for helping your child to follow his or her divine spiritual purpose:


Communication


Throughout the thirty years of my work with children, I have found that calm communication creates better understanding and cooperation.


Talk to your child and allow him to make his own decision about what artistic or competitive activities he wishes to be involved in. It requires a lot of time and money to enroll in a sport or class. Making sure the child really desires to be involved in a particular activity before enrollment is a good way to ensure that the child will stick with the activity for at least one season. If he doesn’t want to continue after that, there’s no reason to force him. Save your money and put it toward something that does interest him. We are all inclined to change our minds about things once we’ve had the opportunity to explore.


Dreaming


A vision for a life brings hope. We rarely succeed in activities for which we have no passion or motivation. Ask your child what she feels like she came here to do. You might be surprised that she knows her spiritual purpose. Seek opportunities for her to explore paths that will lead her toward her destiny or career that reflects her beliefs, dreams, and hopes.


Every soul has a purpose for coming to Earth. How are you supporting your child’s divine mission? The Sid Series by Yvonne Perry has a story titled “You Can Be” in which three-year-old Sidney learns to listen to his inner guidance and explore his life purpose and career options.


Mentoring



Teach them how to do what you do. Be a role model or mentor for the skills that you possess. I know of a nine-year-old who assists his auto mechanic father in working on customer’s vehicles. Do you sew, crochet, or like gardening? Let your child give it a try. Does your child love animals? Take him on a field trip to see what goes on behind the scenes at your local vet or zoo. This is a great way to spend time together.


Deal With Your Own Stuff


If we are too hurt, hurried, busied, reactive, stressed out, numb, rushed, negative, or sick, then we need to change. Life will simply pass us by while we think we are living it. If you find that you are a Type-A personality, have low self-esteem, feel embarrassed by your child’s shortcomings, or are living vicariously through him or her, get help. Find someone to talk to. Perhaps a support group for parents, or personal counselor could help you deal with your own issues.


All of life’s lessons should build up a child’s self-confidence. It is time to support children’s gifts for their personal happiness and achievement. It’s time to enable each child to find and fulfill his dream.


Dr. Caron Goode is a licensed counselor, author of a dozen books, and educational trainer. She is the founder of the Academy for Coaching Parents International at the forefront of the parent coaching movement to disseminate the coaching model of empowerment for parents. Her most recent book, Raising Intuitive Children has won the National Best Book award for the parenting\family category. Her newest book is Kids Who See Ghosts, How To Guide Them Through Their Fears.


Article tags:sports kids, children baseball, little league, parent coaches, softball children, helicopter parents, dr caron b goode

Am I a Good Mother?

Am I a Good Mother?

I’m following along several other bloggers who are inspired by this fabulous, thought-provoking, empowering post from Rebecca at Girls Gone Child. If you haven’t yet heard of it in blogosphere, go read it. It’s worth the read by itself but what I’m about to say will not make much sense without understanding how this got started.


The point of her blog was to help us moms (and dads too) reclaim ourselves as good, great, even amazing parents.


please pause while I give it a standing ovation.


There was one line in particular in Rebecca’s blog that really struck a cord with me. She said, “Claiming to be bad parents is the new ‘I’m fat’ for even the thinnest of women.” I completely get what Rebecca is talking about. I understand it and have seen it in action.


I just wish that was as far as it went with me. Sure, I’ve jokingly called myself a bad mother when I confessed how I folded the Spare’s cheese into squares and not in rectangles. Everyone who read that knew it was tongue in cheek.


But the whole feeling of being a bad mother goes a bit deeper for me.


I spent my early parenting years (well, the first five years, so really almost all of my parenting to date) feeling much like a failure because I had this child I could barely manage. And I don’t mean barely manage as in the rough days here and there, oh this mothering stuff is tough, because it is a tough job.


I mean barely managing as in I had a child I could not control. I mean tantrums so out of control he would injure himself, how he would purposely injure himself as a small toddler. I’m talking biting himself until he bruised and banging his head in anger until he had a goose egg.


I had a child who would rarely accept a hug from me. My child turned away from my affection. Or he would let me hug him and stay stiff that non-verbally screamed…get off!..and left me feeling rejected. He would rarely let me comfort him when he was crying, upset or hurt. I couldn’t make him feel better with a kiss or a touch. He would pull away or cry even harder when I did.


I even had zero control over what shirt the kid wore…at 20 months old. I could not control something so simple as what shirt he wore. Oh, I could force it. I could physically restrain him & wrestle that polo shirt on while he kicked and screamed but he would keep kicking & screaming long after I put it on him. And wherever it was we were going, he would continue being out of control there too.


Over a damn shirt.


And no, a shirt isn’t that big of a deal. But a shirt on top of everything else, on top of the nothing else I could do right with this child….


Those few examples just skim the barrel of life as a parent to the Heir. Other parents all around me didn’t have the kind of problems I had with my son. They could control their toddlers and kids within reason.


I could not.


Within reason? What was that and how did it apply to my son?


Parenting techniques & solutions that work so well they have been passed down for generations did not work for me. Advice from these other parents in control didn’t work. The common sense, tried and true solutions didn’t work. It had to be me. I was the problem. Because everyone else could make these things work and their children were good, reasonable, malleable. But I couldn’t do it.


Damn right I felt like a bad mother. Damn skippy I thought I was a failure at this mother gig.


That was before I heard or knew the terms Aspergers, high functioning autism, autistic spectrum, sensory integration. I spent the first 5 years not knowing his behavior problems could possibly be one of those above disorders and not because I am a bad mother.


So for me personally, thinking & saying “I’m a bad mother” isn’t the new “I’m fat.”


Just like those early years are the most formative for the children, what if they are also the most formative for the parent and their self-image too? And it isn’t like a magic light has turned on in the Heir’s mind and all of the troubling behavior is a thing of the past. I’m still faced on a pretty damn regular basis with situations where I feel like a failure again. Of not knowing what to do with him, how to handle him, how to help him. I still feel helpless a lot. Old habits die hard.


I’m still in the process of healing myself of all of the doubts, guilt, and mostly self- blame. Because it’s only been about a year or so that I even knew autism was a possibility. And we still don’t know if it is for sure because that’s the road we’re on right now. We might never know exactly what it is that makes our son tick the way he ticks. And maybe that’s ok. Maybe we don’t have to know. He is what he is and it is up to us as parents to find ways to help him thrive, regardless of what it is called.


After reading Rebecca’s post and I asked myself how I’m an amazing parent when it comes to the Heir, I had to stop and think. And think. And think. Because it isn’t easy to sift through all of the hardness of raising him and get to the good. But I’m doing it and doing it more on a regular basis than I use too. I’m beginning to focus more on the good and not the worries, which is why I haven’t really written about the problems with him before. I don’t want “abnormal” or “wrong” to be my focus with him anymore.


Friends truly are treasures and Jennifer’s post was exactly what I needed to read to get some positive feelings going. And I began to realize some other things.


I’m a good mother because I am his advocate and his voice while he is still too young to understand what is going on inside of him.


I’m a good mother because I now get that physical touch feels different to him and I ask if I can have a hug instead of just taking one. I give him the opportunity to decide what his body can handle at that moment and I respect him when he says no, not right now. I don’t make him feel guilty for turning down affection from his mom.


I’m a great mother because I take him shopping to pick out his own clothes, even if it means going to two dozen stores and touching over 200 shirts to make sure they “feel right” to him.


I’m a great mother because I support his focused & very real passion for the ocean and all marine life. I do all that I can to encourage his love of nature & learn right along with him.


I’m an amazing mother because I try to peel back all of the things society labels as abnormal and know he is something more than I’ll ever be.


I’m an amazing mother because I have faith that somehow all of his sensory issues and quirks will serve some higher purpose for him, even if I can’t see how yet. I have faith in him.


I am an amazing mother!


I’m feeling really gushy right now and want to thank all of my friends who have been there with me through this journey, seeing that there is something more to the Heir than usual, being the ones to remind me that I am not a bad mother when I really didn’t feel it at all, and also for helping me see the wonderful in him too. All of you have supported and uplifted me more than you’ll probably ever know.

They say parenting is the hardest job ever, but let’s establish a pecking order anyway

They say parenting is the hardest job ever, but let’s establish a pecking order anyway

I’m writing this blog post from my easy chair. It’s where I sit and enjoy my easy life.  I’m a stay-at-home mom (sort of) so I have it easy. Apparently.


Or am I a work-at-home mom? I do have a part-time job that is done from home for 4.5 years now, though I still identify myself as a SAHM for some reason. But that’s neither here nor there because I still have it easy. Comparatively.


(pause)


Sorry. I had to stop and eat a few bonbons, swallow some Xanax for shits and giggles (because what do I know of stress? I don’t commute!) and then Twitter from the iPhone I don’t need since I don’t have a “real” job that pays the bills.


(my job provides fun money, if you call saving for everyone’s birthdays fun.)


Recently there was a vlog by a mom blogger group site I won’t link because I’m a bitch like that who only does easy (and I don’t want to send traffic.) But this interview-style vlog was about how hard working moms have it and apparently didn’t have a proper demographic representation of all working mothers. It was just work-at-home elite mom bloggers who, if you didn’t know, have it easier than work-out-of-home moms. Or so I’ve heard.


This caused a couple of other bloggers to write posts on the topic, but again, I’m a bitch who likes it easy and looking up and hyperlinking other places isn’t all that easy.  It takes like a whole extra four clicks.


But I’m going summarize for you.  You may be like me and like the easy life, so I’m going to break the hierarchy down for you to make it easy.


SAHM – EASY, not a real job because it doesn’t pay bills, which is the definition of a real job.


WAHM – HARDER, a real job since it pays bills but still not as hard because there’s no commute and you get to spend more than 30 minutes a day with your children. Flexibility negates the screaming children in the background of a conference call.


WOHM – HARDEST!  Gone from children all day long, must leave when child is sick. Bosses. Deadlines. Papers. HARD!


I’m going to give it to WOHMs and say yes, they probably have it hardest. I know and have known many WOHMs and have seen how it goes. Do you know what it means to be a WOHM? It means you’re a SAHM with an outside job because, unless you’re married to an exceptional man, the woman is still required to take care of the vast majority of housework and family obligations while doing her outside job too.


That fucking sucks ass. And the inequality of it pisses me off.


Do you ever wonder why that it is? Why the division of home life is still unevenly divvied up to the woman, even if she works 40+ hours a week too?


If the role of a SAHM is “easy,” why in the hell would anyone, husbands included, think managing the home life deserves the respect of equality?


Let’s keeping shooting ourselves in our own fucking foot.

A Story of Limpets, Crabs and the Ties That Bind

A Story of Limpets, Crabs and the Ties That Bind

This past Friday, Payton and I went down to the Island for a mini-day camp about the sea. The local marine research center hosted the day camp and Payton, being a marine biology child-genius, was just a little excited to go.


Is today the day of my sea class? Today!? Finally!!?!! Ohhhhh boy! This is going to be the best day ever!!!!! My sea class is today! My sea class is today! Yayyyyyy!!!! It’s the best day ever!!!!!


Like I said, just a tad excited.


I’m excited too.


So often we’re going on trips and new experiences that I’m not at all sure how Payton is going to react. The trips and experiences that give average kids thrills don’t apply to my boy. A lot of times it’s just the opposite. Honestly, the special moments & new experiences that most parents look forward to experiencing with their kids stress the hell out of me. Instead of the rush of anticipation and excitement, it’s the weight of dread and worry because I never know how he’s going to deal with it.


But this now…this is Payton’s element and I have glorious visions of mother-son bonding over hermit crabs, sand dollars and blue crabs. I’m thinking, however, that Payton didn’t get his fast learning abilities from me because I can’t learn to stop with these visions. No matter how many times things don’t turn out as I envision them with Payton, I still get stuck on these typical bonding moment visions.


The drive to the island is absolutely gorgeous once you get to the edge of the mainland and onto the long bridge over the water. The sunlight waltzes across the water as far as the eye can see and beautiful, graceful cranes glide past your car window.


It really is inspiring and has a special effect on Payton. About a year ago we took this drive and he was very quiet most of the way, until the end of the bridge when he asked, “Mom, why are we here on earth?”


Yes, it’s that awe-inspiring.


But this time, as we’re on this bridge with only sparkling ocean and blue sky in our sight, my Heir asks, “Mom, do you think we’ll find some salt water limpets today?”


The beauty of the drive must have inspired me to come up with this awesome intellectual answer for my son….


“Uhhhhhh. What’s a limpet?”


It’s such a confidence booster to know your 6 year child has your ass kicked in the intellectual department.


The 6 year old boy has to explain to his 33 year old mother what a limpet is.


I don’t know how he knows these things. And truthfully, I haven’t googled it to see if he is right. Too many times I’ve doubted his knowledge only to find out he is right


In order to save some face and look at least slightly intelligent, I tell Payton that would be a great question to ask our teacher today.


“Oh boy! I’ll ask the teacher today! I can’t wait!!!!!”


Yeah, he’s still just a tad excited. I’m still excited too and the visions of salt water bonding multiply expotentially.


We arrive on the campus and make our way to the classroom. We walk in the door and Payton literally squeals because we’re immediately faced with tanks of hermit crabs, fish and lobsters.
We find a seat and wait for teachers to come in. As soon as he sees they walk in the door, he asks me if he can go ask them about the limpets.


Oh sure, why not!


He goes to the young, pretty teacher and proceeds to ask her if we’re going to find any salt water limpets today. She screws up her face in confusion and asks him to repeat the question. He repeats and she still doesn’t get it. A third time and she still isn’t getting what he said. Hell, it was pretty damn clear what he said to me and I don’t have the marine biology degree behind my name. Finally though, she understands he’s asking about a limpet and answers his question.


Turns out they aren’t found in our waters but in other oceans. Darn.


I can tell she’s impressed a kid his age would even know about a limpet. Join the club. And then she says, “You must watch a lot of Discovery Channel.”


Um, nope. My boy is just smart. He reads a lot of ocean books. A LOT. He could start a library. He has even authored a few booksof his own.


Payton comes back to our seat and anxiously awaits for the class to start. Finally, it did.


The 2nd teacher talked loudly. Very loudly. But when Payton is in his element, he can handle more noise than usual so we seem to be doing ok.


But then….


She brings out fake, rubber flounders for kids to paint on, then press paper on top to make an imprint. And a sand tiger shark to finger paint.


Finger. Paint.


Imagine, a 6 year old marine biologist finger painting. Payton looks at me and, I swear, if he physically knew how to roll his eyes, he would have been rolling with intellectual snobbery written all over his face. And if we were mind readers, I’d imagine this in his head…


Look lady, I came to learn some new stuff, not finger paint. This is the sea lab, right? Finger painting is so K3. Haven’t you heard of my book? I know what a limpet is already and damn it, I want to find one! Hey, what’s that microscope over there……


So he and I skip the K3 activities, walk to the back of the room and fiddle with a microscope and look at dead sea specimens. The other 19 kids and parents are making a lot of noise with their paints and brushes and fingers, and I have the feeling Payton is getting a little perturbed by the noise. I ask him about the noise, but he says he’s fine so I let it be. Then, as teacher #2 walks by us, he stops her and asks when we’re going to the salt marsh.


You know, to get to the real schameal of why I even came. This K3 stuff is for the seagulls.


She informs him we aren’t going to the sea marsh this time but down to the beach instead.


Oh shit.


You would have thought someone pissed in his petri dish.


Que for the odd behaviors to begin.


The body stiffening, the digging in the heels, the absolute refusal to participate in the class whatsoever, the illogical, irrational conversation that ensues between us over the salt marsh. I see one of his temper tantrum in the works and I start to go There.


There…that place where I’m mom to the odd boy out, overwhelmed with helplessness, frustration and misunderstanding. All of my visions of mother-son bonding over hermit crabs slip away and are replaced with the memories of the numerous gone-awry “bonding” moments between the two of us.


But this time I refuse to go There. Damn it to hell, this will not happen again! Not here, not in his element.


I give him our only two options….leave and go home or wait around until they go to the beach. I’m fine with it either way. He tries to railroad me back to the tragedy of the salt marsh but I won’t do it. Two options, that’s it. You decide.


And I walk away and sit while he chews it over.


He comes back a bit later and tells me he wants to stay for the beach. But he still isn’t *right*. I don’t know what is going on with him, but I can tell he isn’t right.


Then I see him do it.


I see him pull at his bangs, which is what he does when he’s being overwhelmed with noise. And the odd behaviors now make sense, the frustration melts away. I ask him if he wants to go outside where it’s quiet and he says he does.


So we go out and just sit with each other for a while, being quiet. We’re close enough to the beach that we can hear the waves crash on the shore and the seagulls cry in the sky. Payton asks to go down to the shore and we make our own way to the beach, walking hand-in-hand on the boardwalk, and Payton and I spend the rest of the afternoon bonding over….


barnacles


and hermit crabs,


sea shells,


and sand dollars,


and a giant blue crab.


For once, my visions came to be.


Even my vision of being the right mom to the odd boy out.

Positive aspects of Kids Coloring Pages

Positive aspects of Kids Coloring Pages

Not only the kids, even the activity of coloring sheets is a fun-driven hobby for the moms and dads and teachers alike. They likewise draw joy and considerably captivate from these most efficient things, by organizing, gathering, and offering these coloring page to their kids. As it isn’t a matter of seconds and minutes, it also takes enough time and care. It aptly engrosses the seniors of the household similar to the kids, by either getting the coloring hard copies from computer, or by bring your children to business stores to get it. Hence, it is a tremendously an amusing hobby for all ages of life.



Coloring Sheets significantly improve our kids’s creative thrust and promote the imaginative imagination in them. Teaching your kid to enjoy coloring sheets mlp coloring pages also motivate a plethora of development abilities such as coordination, and decision-making as well as how to follow through and complete their it.


No that isn’t the case, teaching your little one or ones to really browse for their own my little pony coloring pages present children to the Internet. Prior to long I’m sure your child will start to teach you a thing or 2 about the Internet that you didn’t understand.


It isn’t really something an activity of every day life, even it can be a finest thing for your child’s birthday party. You can utilize your complimentary coloring sheet to have a coloring contest where naturally everyone wins a reward as another fun activity. Remember that these are coloring page which you can keep in your kid’s scrapbook permanently. This basic activity will end up being something that can be handed downed from generation to generation.

For more information visit www.coloringpages4kidz.com/home/my-little-pony-coloring-pages/.

The Creative Mind Phenomenon | Queen of Shake Shake

The Creative Mind Phenomenon | Queen of Shake Shake

Take a child who has a passionate love of learning – a child who excels at learning, particularly in one subject and seems to absorb the information with no effort. But this child hates school with as much passion as he loves learning and has problems in school.


Why do we always assume the child is the root of the problem?


People do it almost every time.


I consider myself pretty free-thinking and am certainly known to question authority, and I don’t accept ideas as true because everyone else accepts them. But yet again, even I have to wade through the whole mentality of it always being the individual who is wrong.


The longer I raise Payton, the quicker I get at wading through old mentalities.


During our ambush meeting at school a few weeks ago, the psychometrist adamantly insisted that Payton was exhibiting atypical behavior and was convinced he needed therapy and testing.


Funny. They didn’t consider that perhaps the school administrators and staff needed some therapy to better recognize and understand gifted minds. Again, it’s always the child with the problem, not the adults or system.


I see commercials on TV now telling us how autism is on the rise. So is ADHD. Is there any “childhood disorder” that isn’t on the rise?


In 2002, 1.623 million kids were diagnosed with ADHD. In 2005, the number was 4.4 million.


4.4 million!


Am I the only one who thinks something isn’t right and it isn’t the kids?


I think most parents probably hear those kinds of numbers and go into somewhat of a panic, thinking……What is wrong with our kids? What’s causing this to happen more and more? Is it vaccines? Something in the water? Acid rain! Lead laden toys from China!


I venture to guess parents think that because I use to ask myself the same questions. But I don’t ask those questions any longer. Instead of asking what is wrong with our kids, I’m asking….


What is wrong with the system? How does it need to change?


Why is the system demanding more and more conformity? Or are they?


Has the system always been this way?


I think it has. As long as there has been compulsory education, (and probably before) each generation has griped over how schools are only about spitting out facts and not true learning.


Yet something is going on with our children.


Instead of a phenomenon of pathology in our children, what if it’s a phenomenon of creative minds being born and the schools are truly not equipped to deal with this influx of highly creative children. Schools have never been equipped for them, only we’re seeing more and more of these bright children being born.


I’ve said it before and I still believe it. More children are coming into this world with higher minds, not with more disorders.


But the current generation of adults doesn’t understand what it means to have a higher mind and we explain it in the only way we can relate – disease, dysfunction, disorder. As a society, that’s where we put our minds and our money. If you don’t think that’s true, then count the number of pharm ads you see in television and print each day. Pick up any parenting magazine and notice how many ads are in there for ADHD medication. Now try to find information readily available on gifted children.


Contrary to popular belief, gifted minds are not what we would consider normal kids, only much smarter. Think about it. When we hear little Johnny is gifted, what comes to mind?


Is it the media stories of a 15-year-old who embodies every positive human attribute, only they are so smart they are beginning their freshman year in college? They are just like everyone else, only much smarter. You know, Doogie Howser.


That seems to be the only type of giftedness in children our society talks about and accepts.


If you were to read the following characteristics, would you associate them with giftedness?




  • reactions are over-the-top


  • difficulty modulating behaviors


  • low tolerance of frustration


  • hyperactivity


  • sensitivity to noise, touch and other sensations


  • preoccupation with objects and/or ideas


  • extreme interest in one area


  • problems making friends


  • intense tantrums, frequently beyond the toddler years


  • unusual sleep patterns

I think it’s unlikely many would associate those traits with giftedness or a highly creative mind.


Why would they when those characteristics sound just like the characteristics of Aspergers? Some of them run parallel to ADHD too. And that’s all we hear about through the media.


I copied those traits out of the book A Parent’s Guide to Gifted Children. Those are a some of the qualities the authors describe as very common in the gifted child. In fact, the more you see in quantity and degree, the more brilliant the mind.


However, our society is so quick to jump to the idea of pathology and children who exhibit those above characteristics are first assumed to have something wrong with them.


Are we diagnosing an entire generation of creative geniuses with disorders?


And we “therapy” out of them some of the very characteristics that make them creatively gifted.


What are we doing?


I can only guess that we continue to play the system’s mind game of the child having the problem? Perhaps because we feel powerless against the system.


Well, I’m not powerless.


And I refuse to play the game their way.


I’ve been holding the story of this ambush meeting I keep referring to. I didn’t know what to say about it or what point I would have with it. But now I realize there is a point to the story. We parents of these highly creative kids…we’re not powerless. And we don’t have to play their game. Through this tough time of first grade, I stood by my belief in my son. And it’s now changing the school’s belief in my child. That’s a story worth telling. And I’ll share more soon.

6 Tips For A Stress Free School Morning

6 Tips For A Stress Free School Morning

Parents and Teenagers: 6 Tips For A Stress Free School Morning


It is 20 minutes before the bell rings, and you are rushing out the door or at least trying to. You call out to your teenager to hurry, grab the toaster pastry from the toaster and get in the car. Meanwhile, you are putting the finishing touches on your own appearance praying that there are no red lights on the way to school. Sound familiar? Here are some tips to help your morning go smoothly:


1. Establish a routine


Routines provide a sense of peace and even comfort to many people. You know what to expect, and there is no guesswork. A morning routine is a great way to ease into your day. Adding a very basic routine to your morning can eliminate stress and chaos on school mornings.


2. Involve your teenager


Teenagers crave independence. Therefore, when establishing a morning routine, it is essential that you involve your teenager. If he/she does not have any ownership then there is a good chance that your routine will become combative. Tackle the problem together of how to have a smooth morning, not just for you but for them as well!


3. Consider temperament


A person’s natural temperament can have a lot to do with his morning routine. Is your teenager more of an early riser or night owl? An early riser may like to shower in the morning, while a night owl may prefer to shower at night. If your teenager is a night owl, then attempting to transform her into an early riser is probably not going to work.


4. Meal planning


How many times have you woken up asking the question, “What are we going to have for breakfast?” Then you dash into the kitchen praying there is something of nutritional substance. Or you try to get dressed in a quicker fashion, so that you or your teenager can stop by the local fast food place to scarf down something to eat on the way to school. Meal planning can bring some relief not only to your morning routine, but also your dinner one as well. It can also save money, especially with increasing food costs.


5. Avoid confrontation


Who likes to start the morning off with conflict? Mornings are not the optimal time to discuss conflict. Find a regular time to discuss things with your teenager, and leave the morning for just starting the day. Some conflicts require more time to resolve than just a morning when you are trying to get ready.


6. Get organized


Organization tends to get a bad wrap. For many it conjures up feelings of boredom and micromanagement. On the contrary, getting organized can eliminate stress and make life enjoyable. Getting organized does not have to be elaborate. It can simply mean getting a calendar to list all of the academic activities on it, or even having a specific place for your keys so you do not have to scramble to find them.